Have you ever wondered what life is like for Amish women? While we might admire their simple, traditional way of living, it’s easy to forget that their daily routines and personal choices are governed by a strict set of rules. These regulations, rooted in Old Order Amish beliefs, shape every aspect of their lives, from what they wear to how they raise their families.
As much as we might romanticize the Amish lifestyle, the reality is that Amish women face many restrictions that most of us would find challenging, if not impossible, to live with. So, let’s peek behind the curtain and explore 23 things that Amish women simply can’t do, even if they wanted to. Get ready to gain a new appreciation for the freedoms and choices we often take for granted!
They Cannot Play with Barbie Dolls
If you grew up playing with Barbie dolls, you might be surprised to learn that Amish girls don’t have that luxury. Instead, they create and play with faceless dolls, which aligns with their religious beliefs discouraging the creation of graven images. This practice also promotes the idea of equality in the eyes of God, as the dolls lack individual features that might suggest superiority or inferiority.
They Can’t Wear Flashy or Zippered Dresses
Forget about expressing yourself through fashion – Amish women have to adhere to strict dress codes that dictate plain, solid-colored dresses without any zippers, buttons, or Velcro. These rules are meant to emphasize modesty and humility, two values that are deeply ingrained in Amish culture. So, while you might enjoy experimenting with different styles and trends, Amish women have to stick to a much more limited wardrobe.
They Cannot Take Selfies
In the age of Instagram and Snapchat, it’s hard to imagine a world without selfies. But for Amish women, taking pictures of themselves is a big no-no. Photography, including selfies, is generally frowned upon in the Amish community because it’s seen as promoting vanity and pride. So, while you might have countless photos documenting your life, Amish women have to rely on their memories to capture special moments.
They Can’t Wear Jewelry
Love accessorizing with your favorite necklaces, bracelets, and rings? Well, Amish women don’t have that option. All forms of jewelry, even wedding rings, are forbidden in their community, as they’re considered symbols of pride and vanity. This means that Amish women have to find other ways to express their personal style and celebrate their relationships, without relying on the sparkly baubles that many of us enjoy.
They Cannot Divorce
While divorce is a difficult and painful reality for many couples, it’s simply not an option for Amish women. In their community, marriage vows are taken extremely seriously, and divorce is strictly forbidden. Separation is possible in cases of abuse or infidelity, but remarriage is not allowed while the former spouse is still alive. This means that Amish women have to be absolutely certain about their choice of partner, as they’re essentially committing to a lifelong relationship.
You Can’t Date Them Without a Horse and Buggy
Forget about swiping right or sliding into DMs – if you want to date an Amish woman, you better have a horse and buggy. In the Amish community, romantic intentions are often signified by a man inviting a woman for a ride in his buggy, a cultural practice that’s deeply entrenched in their way of life. This old-fashioned approach to dating might seem quaint or charming to outsiders, but for Amish women, it’s a serious and meaningful step towards a potential marriage.
They Must Cover Their Hair
Amish women are required to cover their hair at all times, usually with a bonnet or cap. This practice serves two purposes: first, it ensures that they’re always ready for prayer, and second, it signifies their submission to their husbands or fathers. While you might enjoy experimenting with different hairstyles or showing off your locks, Amish women have to keep their hair hidden away, as a sign of their devotion to God and their place in the community.
Cooking and Cleaning Is Their Sole Responsibility
In the Amish community, gender roles are strictly defined, and women are expected to take on all the domestic chores, including cooking and cleaning. This means that Amish women spend a significant portion of their time preparing meals, washing dishes, doing laundry, and keeping their homes tidy. While many modern households strive for a more equal division of labor, Amish women have to shoulder these responsibilities on their own, as part of their duty to their families and community.
They Must Have Many Kids
Large families are the norm in the Amish world, with women expected to bear and raise many children. This is partly due to religious beliefs that encourage procreation, and partly because children are seen as a blessing and a source of labor for the family farm or business. While you might have the freedom to choose whether and when to have children, Amish women are expected to embrace motherhood as their primary role and to welcome each new baby as a gift from God.
They Can’t Cut Their Hair
Amish women are not allowed to cut their hair, as it’s seen as a symbol of their devotion to God. Instead, they wear their hair long and usually tied back or braided. This practice is based on biblical teachings that suggest a woman’s hair is her crowning glory and should not be shorn. While you might enjoy experimenting with different haircuts and styles, Amish women have to keep their hair long and natural, as a sign of their faith and obedience.
They Can’t Be Educated Above 8th Grade Level
Education for Amish women ends at the eighth grade, after which they’re expected to focus on learning domestic skills like cooking, sewing, and child-rearing. This is because the Amish believe that too much formal education can lead to pride and a worldly mindset, which goes against their values of humility and simplicity. While you might have had the opportunity to pursue higher education and follow your academic passions, Amish women have to be content with a more limited schooling and a narrower range of career options.
They Can’t Have Expensive and Fabulous Weddings
If you’ve ever dreamed of a lavish, fairy-tale wedding, you might be disappointed by Amish traditions. In their community, weddings are simple affairs, with no extravagant expenses or elaborate decorations. The bride typically wears a homemade, plain gown, and the ceremony is focused on the religious and social significance of the union, rather than the material trappings. While you might enjoy planning every detail of your dream wedding, Amish women have to accept a more modest and understated celebration.
They Can’t Be Intimate Before Marriage
Premarital intimacy is strictly forbidden in the Amish world, with a strong emphasis on chastity and abstinence. Young people are expected to save all physical affection for their future spouse, and any kind of sexual contact before marriage is considered a serious sin. While you might have had the freedom to explore your sexuality and date around before settling down, Amish women have to navigate the path to marriage without any physical intimacy, relying instead on emotional connection and shared values.
They Must Submit to Their Husbands
Amish culture is deeply patriarchal, with women expected to be fully submissive to their husbands. This means that the man of the house makes all the major decisions, and the woman’s role is to support and obey him. While modern relationships often strive for equality and partnership, Amish marriages are based on a clear hierarchy, with the husband as the head of the household and the wife as his helpmeet. For Amish women, this means accepting a subordinate role and deferring to their husband’s authority in all things.
They Can’t Wear White Wedding Dresses
While white wedding dresses are a staple of modern bridal fashion, Amish brides have to forgo this tradition in favor of a more practical and modest gown. Typically, an Amish bride will wear a simple, dark-colored dress that she can continue to wear for other occasions after the wedding. This reflects the Amish value of practicality and their rejection of vanity and excess. So, while you might spend months searching for the perfect white dress, Amish women have to settle for a more understated and functional outfit.
They Can’t Have the Birds and Bees Talk
Amish culture is notoriously silent when it comes to sexual education, leaving many young people with little understanding of their own bodies and reproduction. Sex is considered a taboo topic, and parents often avoid having frank discussions with their children about the birds and the bees. This means that Amish women often enter marriage with limited knowledge of sexual matters, and have to learn about intimacy and reproduction through trial and error. While you might have had access to comprehensive sex ed, Amish women have to navigate this sensitive topic on their own.
They Can’t Put on Makeup
Makeup is considered a form of vanity in the Amish world, and is therefore strictly forbidden for women. This means no foundation, no mascara, no lipstick – not even a dab of lip balm. Amish women are expected to embrace their natural beauty, without any artificial enhancements or alterations. While you might enjoy experimenting with different makeup looks and products, Amish women have to go au naturel, as a sign of their humility and rejection of worldly values.
They Can’t Wear Short Dresses
Amish women’s dresses have to be calf-length or longer, in keeping with their community’s strict standards of modesty. This means no short skirts, no above-the-knee hemlines, and definitely no mini-dresses. The idea is to keep the female body covered and hidden, so as not to attract unwanted attention or tempt others to sin. While you might enjoy showing off your legs or experimenting with different dress lengths, Amish women have to keep things long and flowing, as a sign of their purity and propriety.
They Are Not Allowed to Work Outside the Home
For most Amish women, the idea of having a career outside the home is simply not an option. Their primary role is to be a wife, mother, and homemaker, and any work they do is expected to be in service of their family and community. This means that Amish women rarely have the opportunity to pursue their own interests or talents, or to earn an independent income. While you might have the freedom to choose your own career path and balance work with family life, Amish women have to accept a more limited and domestic sphere of influence.
They Can’t Take Pictures
Just like with selfies, Amish women are generally discouraged from taking or posing for photographs. This is because the Amish believe that images can promote individualism and vanity, and distract from the more important values of community and humility. While you might love capturing memories through photos and sharing them with others, Amish women have to rely on their own mental snapshots to remember special moments and milestones.
They Can’t Rest When Pregnant
Pregnancy is a challenging time for any woman, but Amish women often have to continue their daily chores and responsibilities throughout the nine months, with little opportunity for rest or relaxation. This is partly due to the Amish belief in the value of hard work, and partly because there’s simply too much to be done to keep the household running smoothly. While you might have the option to take it easy or even go on bed rest during pregnancy, Amish women have to power through and keep up with their duties, no matter how tired or uncomfortable they might feel.
They Can’t Preside Over Church Affairs or Act as Ministers
In the Amish church, leadership roles are reserved exclusively for men, with women expected to take a backseat when it comes to spiritual matters. This means that Amish women cannot preside over church services, deliver sermons, or act as ministers or elders. Their role is to support their husbands and the male leaders of the community, and to focus on their own spiritual growth and obedience. While you might have the opportunity to take on leadership roles in your own faith tradition, Amish women have to accept a more passive and subordinate position in religious life.
They Can’t Scream During Childbirth
Amish women are expected to endure the pain of childbirth in silence, as a sign of their strength and faith. This practice, known as “silent birth,” is based on the belief that suffering is a natural part of life and that women should bear it with grace and dignity. While you might have the option to use pain medication or vocalize your discomfort during labor, Amish women have to grit their teeth and push through, relying on their inner reserves of strength and the support of their community.
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